I would love to have mental peace. I found that my thoughts are always cycling round and round and where they go, I never know where I'll end up. I always seem to go to the darker corners of my mind, but I hate it. I have thought over and over again as to why me. Why the fucking hell was it me? What did I do to deserve everything that has been thrown in my face? I've been abused in every way defined by the law, and in specifics more ways than I can count. I have tried to deal with my memories on my own and gone down the path of bulimia, emotional eating, cutting, four suicide attempts, but none of it gives me the mental peace I want so badly. Very few people have it, but why can't I? I meet people and they are so oblivious as to what they have, being able to sleep, not having memories constantly replay behind your eyelids. I wish... I wish... Oh, how I wish... They go from day to day in not their perfect worlds, no where near it, but definitely a better world. Every person has their own problems there is no doubt about that, it's just the magnitude of those problems and how people deal with them.

I'm stuck with no mental peace. I wish... i wish... I wish...